Nobody Told Me: Love in the Time of Dementia, S.R. Karfelt

My daughter Maria Mankin hosts a remarkable blog of book reviews every other week. It is called Books J’Adore. I usually find at Books J’Adore the beach read, the quirky memoir, the best young adult fantasy, the new poet. This morning I found this and want to share it as my guest post this Thursday. Thank you Maria.

Books, j'adore

AFTER MILLENNIA OF marriage and centuries of children, I thought I understood love. Dementia is teaching me so much more about it. It reminds me of that quote from Alan Bennett in The Lady in the Van, “Caring is shit.” It’s said while he’s fussing about the problems with the homeless woman living in a van in his driveway. Low brow as it might sound, I found it rather profound. Shit. You have to put up with a lot of it for love. You give it and you get it. Marketing and movies focus on the pretty parts of love, but there are all sorts of love and a whole lot of it isn’t pretty.

51dushu4z4l-_sx337_bo1204203200_Love is hiding in the lounge at assisted living and writing your mother-in-law’s name on her underthings so they can be sent to the laundry.

Love is Juan, after weeks of international travel, dragging his…

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