Prayer for anxiety in a Lent of coronavirus

God, I coughed again —
it’s dry and I sneezed once yesterday,
and I think my throat is sore,
but mostly I am worried
that I am going to give COVID19,
to somebody I love,
or someone I get too close to
when I am walking the dog.

Even more, I am worried about
what is happening inside my mind,
so, of course, I start reading all about
Illness Anxiety Disorder,
hypochondriasis —
but isn’t that bringing the focus on me,
when I am not sick,
I am not completely alone,
and not close to losing my house?

So then I start to worry
about how self-absorbed I am and …

God, this was not the beginning
and it will not be the end
as the kaleidoscope pandemic
shifts its many broken pieces inside me
and creates different patterns.

This, too, is your gift,
because now I understand
how everyone around me feels,
and feels differently every single day.

We are broken and beautiful,
and our patterns will change.
What won’t change
is our care for one another,
or this small healing ritual —

of going to the pool of Siloam
that is my bathroom sink
and with a bar smelling of lavender
loving my small hands
and the mind that moves them
and also wants
to be washed with gentleness.

 

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11 Responses to Prayer for anxiety in a Lent of coronavirus

  1. Christine says:

    washed with gentleness … ahhh thank you for that, for your putting words around these tremulous days. Take your ease, sleep well, you are working very hard for us all.

    • Maren says:

      Thank you. I am looking forward to one of your exports — the Phryne Fisher movie out (online) today. I was a fan from the first book. but yes trying to find gentle ways simply to be.

  2. Stephen Price says:

    Oh God Maren, this is so wonderful. You’ve written what’s going on in my head so beautifully. Thank you for this moment of grace and reminder that I am not alone

  3. Emily Geoghegan says:

    Thank you Maren. Well done. Beautifully said. All this anxiety connects us to people around the world. Thank you for such timely and helpful writings.

  4. Emily Geoghegan says:

    Thank you Maren. Well done. Beautifully said. All this anxiety connects us to people around the world. Thank you for such timely and helpful writings.

  5. rezrevres says:

    Well said< Maren. It seems the paranoia is spread far faster than the disease, and in the final analysis, I'm certain that it will be responsible for more injury and hurt than Covid-19 actually caused.

  6. dabar96 says:

    “… the kaleidoscope pandemic…”

    This is the image I need today. Thank you!

    • Maren says:

      I think that you are right … when people are more than twelve feet away from me walking my dog (and I have him sitting which I always do because some people even fear a beagle) and they walk into the street to be further, I know that what is in our head is becoming truly dangerous.

    • Maren says:

      It does seem that there is a turning of the same pieces every day.

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